How to stop struggling with comparison

Comparison. It's something we've all struggled with at one time or another.

Here’s the thing about comparison… comparison, itself, isn’t what makes us feel all icky inside. It’s what we make the comparison mean about ourselves.

Comparison isn’t the problem.

I find it helpful to understand comparison to use a little analogy. So let’s think about comparison this way. Comparison can simply be as neutral as “this is an apple” and “this is an orange”. And this apple is red, this orange is orange. And I like oranges better than apples. But it doesn’t mean anything’s wrong with apples. And if you like apples, doesn't mean anything is wrong with me because I don’t like them as much.

What if the same could be true with comparison of our bodies with other people’s?

You can notice that someone else has a different body than you do. And it doesn’t mean anything is wrong with your body. It doesn’t mean that their body is better and yours is worse. They’re just different bodies.

And here’s the other thing I think we really need to remember in this moment. All bodies are different. No one body is meant to be the same. And we have to remember that our culture is all about preaching that we all have the same body. That healthy looks the same for everyone. And that’s just not true. 

So I wanted to share a few practical things to help you in those moments where you’re kinda stuck in that negative comparison.

Practical ways to stop struggling with comparison

First, I find it’s helpful to recognize how negative comparison feels in your body. Maybe you feel yourself breathing more shallow, or like a weight on your chest. Because when you can recognize the physical feeling of the emotion you’re experiencing with negative comparison, which is probably something along the lines of jealousy, it can help be that sign to check in with yourself and your thoughts.

Then, we want to meet ourselves where we’re at and offer compassion while speaking truth.

And lastly, we want to practice shifting from negative comparison to neutral or positive comparison.

Here’s an example of how this can look…

Her body is so much smaller than mine. Ah, I wish I could have a body like that. My body sucks… ugh look how gross my thighs are.

We want to pause… notice how that feels in our body. Meet ourselves where we’re at with compassion… 

It’s ok that you’re feeling this way, our culture really does such a poor job of helping us feel good about our bodies and our differences…

And… just because her body is smaller than mine doesn’t mean anything is wrong with my body. This is my body.

Do you see how much better this could feel for you? How this could change your experience of comparison and of the world?

And let me just say, this is a practice. This is not something that will just start without some intentional practice with changing and shifting your thoughts.

If you found this helpful, I’d love to hear about it. You can send me a DM on Instagram

This is taken from the episode all about how to stop struggling with comparison on the Redefining Health Podcast. You can find this episode wherever you listen to podcasts on Apple, Spotify, or Google.